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How I Rediscovered Myself

How I Rediscovered Myself

“Change occurs when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.” – Unknown

When will we begin to learn that sometimes our comfort zones aren’t as comfortable as we think? Stepping outside the boundaries we set for ourselves can definitely be a painful experience. But what’s more painful? The temporary discomfort of expanding your boundaries to taste, touch, and feel new things? Or looking beyond those walls from the inside wishing and hoping for the perfect moment to seize the day?

I am 28 years old and have lived the majority of those years in fear. The fear of failing, looking silly for not getting something right the first try, fear of succeeding and having to live up to the greatness and responsibilities of success. The fear of being looked at as lazy and unaccomplished.

I struggled with pain and the lack of self-confidence of being overweight. Being overweight was a symptom of the fear that I was living in. I was afraid to eat well because I didn’t believe that I was able to have the self-control to do so. I felt that I was too fat and inexperienced to go to the gym. I even hated being outside because I was always so hot and uncomfortable in my own skin and clothes.

A little over a year ago I decided enough was enough. For the first time in my life I decided it was time to actually begin living. I started off small by taking walks and incorporating healthier foods into my diet. Once I realized how good it felt to be outside and see new things, I was unstoppable. I began getting into shape, but still wasn’t happy with my insides. I felt insecure, judgmental and ungrateful for starters. I wanted to be a positive, loving person, but I had to start from the inside in order for it reflect on the outside.

Coming to terms with the fact that I needed to relearn how to love myself and reshape the conversations of my inner monologue was not easy. It has taken me many hours of meditation, journaling, writing, and therapy. At first I thought there was no way that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I deserve to be happy. Let alone believe it.

Those practices became habit, and habit turned into truth. I can tell you right now that today I am confident that I deserve to be happy, and I am happy. This happiness has stemmed from being grateful for the things that I have right now in this moment, and being mindful of my feelings.

Mindfulness is a great practice that everyone should focus on. When I became aware of the positive and negative emotions, it helped me get into touch with my inner most strengths and insecurities. When I recognized my strengths, I was able to grow those and build confidence. When I recognized my insecurities, I was able to self-soothe and face them head on to sort them out in a healthy way.

I have begun to be able to identify situations that induce anxiety, fear, stress, anger, etc. As soon as I feel any of those emotions coming along, I ask myself “what is causing this and what can I do to put this feeling at ease?” It can happen in a split second, so it is important to begin identifying trigger points and begin self-soothing right away.

It is just as important to identify situations that bring joy. I know how hard it can be to take a situation for granted and not luxuriate in that moment. Getting into the practice of taking a moment to breathe in the air, listen to the sounds around you, taste the entirety of your food or drink will ensure that you are living in the moment. There is nothing more important than having gratitude for the things that you are doing in the NOW.

Life is now because tomorrow is not promised. Embracing the joy and the sorrow, the love and the pain, the luxuries and the struggles is to truly be alive. Let yourself feel. If you are afraid, recognize that, but move on. Do not let yourself stop yourself from experiencing life’s riches.

How I Rediscovered Myself
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About Judy Agiu

Judy Agiu is a lifestyle blogger focusing on holistic wellness and nutrition. She began her blog Gains Before Grains after losing over 50 pounds. She hopes that sharing her journey with inspire and motivate others along the way. Judy is a military wife and will soon be relocating to Japan with her husband and her dog, Quinn. You can also follow her on her social media links below.


  1. This is beautiful! So often we never realize what a bully we can be to ourselves, and just like a bully on the playground, the effects can be devastating. Thank you for sharing your story.

  2. This is a great post. Very insightful.

  3. Great article and loved the title! I think we’re all constantly learning new things about ourselves because we’re all constantly changing, even if its just a small amount over time. 🙂

  4. You are so right. The art of being mindful can be a challenging, but beneficial practice, that enables us to gain insight into both the beauty within ourselves and that which surrounds us. Great post!

  5. I do love the seeds that you plant. As we continue on this journey, the seeds become important for the now. Tips in this post are significant for change. I had a realization while reading this post. That realization is that sometimes I tend to focus on the future outcome and lose site of the small steps to accomplishment. It is not necessarily wrong to have a picture of a future outcome, but we have to live in the now to reach that future outcome. While tomorrow is not promised, the small steps of now do help us reach tomorrow in a better way.

  6. Thank you everyone. So much. It’s so comforting to know that there are so many wonderful, strong people on this planet, and that we aren’t in this alone. Life is such a beautiful, terrifying adventure. But I’d rather feel scared and conquer that fear, than stand by and wish to feel.

  7. Great post and well done for finding your inner self, something we all struggle with and myself personally. Mindfulness really does work and it has helped me so much to change my thought patterns having suffered with depression for over 20 years.

    We will all get there, step by little step 🙂

  8. Great post! Inspiring for all of us to get out of our own way! Keep on trekking!

  9. Enjoyed your post very much. I struggled for years with low self-worth, and I don’t really know why. I do know that my worth comes from God who loves me unconditionally.

  10. I, too, declared a few years ago that I was tired of living my life in fear. What a relief. It’s okay to fail, it’s alright to make mistakes, I need not be perfect to be loved. Ahhh, I can live.

  11. Really inspirational. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  12. We only learn by making mistakes … trial and error … trouble is, modern education is trying to test adventure out of existence!

  13. Again, thank you all for your shares and kind words. And thank you so much for sharing your journey as well.

  14. What an extraordinarily well written post- so honest, inspiring and truthful-. One of the best blog posts I’ve read in a while, also I can wholeheartedly relate to the feeling of not believing I am enough, and not entirely accepting myself as I am. We also all have those moments when there comes a time of rediscovering who we are, I’ve recently gone through that and can relate to on some level what you’ve said. Thank-you so sharing such an inspiring piece!

  15. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing! ????

  16. Thank you for this post! People need to hear these things and I truly appreciate your candor and your sharing. Thank you!!

  17. Glad you rediscovered yourself, and expressed the discovery so well. I discovered your blog through your like of a recent positing of my own. Thank you. We expresss similar feelings at times, mine in poetry.

  18. A very inspiring post that can give you courage and many tips.Lovely!!!!

  19. Great post. Couldnt agree more.

  20. Great inspiration on this Monday morning! It is definitely a journey, not an easy one, but worth it 100%. Best of luck on the rest of your journey!

  21. Inspirational piece! It had the message I needed to hear today. Thank you!

  22. I’ve rediscovered myself too and it’s weird to think that there was actually a solution to all of my problems. It makes me think what the world would be like if more people adopted this mindset. We could solve a lot of social problems by individually trying to be mindful and wise. It’s pretty amazing.

    And you don’t seem to name it, but it seems like what you’re doing here is actually *learning* how to be happy and rather than just wandering aimlessly. It’s the same as anything. Unless you put the effort to learn better, you’re not going to get good at anything.

    Thanks for starting discussion!

  23. Thank you for your positive comment. Your story is impressive. A lot of people don’t get the guts to change so young. Blessings on your journey.

  24. This is absolutely my favorite article on here. Rediscovery is so personal, yet so important because it doesn’t just affect you, it affects everyone around you as well. Thanks for this read.

  25. Carry on! And congrats…enjoy Japan!

  26. #love, just #love

  27. Your post is great confirmation for my blog on learning to get still again. It is amazing that when we want to step outside our comfort zone and make a change, change always begins within.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

  28. Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments.

  29. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what truly constitutes Success. You hit so eloquently on a big part of that subject. Fear. I am multiples of your 28 years and I still let myself fall into the terror trap. Mostly over relationships now. Used to be mostly over work. But that could change to both work and relationships. What a lame lot we are sometimes. That’s why I’m so impressed by and grateful for your roster of blog contributors. So many people who devote themselves to helping the rest of us get through life. Bless you all. Alice. http://www.aliceorrbooks.com/blog/

  30. This post really hit home for me. I’ve been working on overcoming fears in my life too and I’m discovering that the fears are SOOOO much worse than what you’re actually afraid of. AND, once you make the step to overcome your fears, somehow, they just dissipate. It was so great to read this and feel connected on such a true, deep subject. Thank you!

  31. Hey Judy. I am new to blogging and really appreciate your likes. Means more than you can imagine. From your blog posts it sounds like we have a lot in common. Look forward to learning more about you

    • Hey Michaeliam I’m glad you enjoyed this great guest post from Judy! Please be sure to check out her personal website located in her author bio to read much more from her!

  32. Lovely post – it took me a lot longer to realise how debilitating deep routed fear can be… Thanks for sharing and for liking my post on brilliancewithin.com.

  33. Thanks for visiting my blog at psycheandspirit.net. Safe journeys!

  34. Oh! Great Post! I just loved it.

  35. A touching, open and truly honest self insight. It is impossible for your words to not penetrate and find similarities in everyone that reads this. x

    Travel Runner

  36. It’s hard to step outside of your comfort zone but your post was very inspiring.

  37. I congratulate you on overcoming your fears and anxiety. This is something that most people spend their lives trying to nail down what bothers them and take action on it. Sounds like you have conquered the first step!

  38. Great post! How hard we are on ourselves when God placed us here to experience joy and love and goodness. Congratulations on your discovery and discipline. Thank you for liking my recent post as it enabled me to find yours.

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