It actually hurts my heart to hear people hate on themselves; I’m too old/fat/stupid/ugly, I’m not enough, I’ll never be loved/popular/successful/happy etc. There are so many reasons people get to this sad point; parents, friends, divorce, unemployment, and all the other of life’s adversities. Over time self-esteem and self-belief in a person’s own abilities is eroded away until they are totally at the mercy of external forces and other’s opinions to form their own opinion of themselves, and they have just a dim memory of the glorious, bright and amazing person they used to be.
But like all learned behavior, it can be unlearned and reprogrammed. It may take time…so what? Would you be willing to trade a few months of mental rewiring for a life time of shining brightly? I know I would. Let’s just start together, today, one small step on a conscious journey.
Two things for now to get started. First, pay attention to the internal ‘tape’ you have going on that whispers these negative things to you; just notice, don’t interfere. Try it for a few days. Second, when you have a good (and no doubt shocking) idea of what you’re telling yourself and how often, hone in on one thought and each time you hear yourself say it, immediately tell yourself the opposite ten times. This will be weird to start with, again, so what? You’re the only witness.
Example: (bad divorce experience) “Nobody will ever love me again” could become “Plenty of women/men my age go on to find love and happiness” or “Someone out there will appreciate and love me” or “It may take some time, but it will happen, and in the meantime I’m going to (insert something you now have time to do)”. Reconnect with your bright, astonishing light.